Cousinly Coffee Capers
by Bastard Snow
Summary: The Scoobies head to Neptune, California to help Riley with his cousin. 7th in the Coffee Series
1. Chapter 1

Title: Cousinly Coffee Capers  
Rating: Teen-ish  
Author: Bastard Snow

WARNING: SPOILERS FOR SEASON ONE OF VERONICA MARS! SPOILERS FOR SEASON ONE OF VERONICA MARS!

Summary: The Scoobies head to Neptune, California to help Riley with his cousin. 8th in the Coffee Series

Disclaimer: None of it is mine.

A/N: As always, thanks to Drake for the beta. And some help with Logan.

Feedback: Yes, please!

* * *

Wallace Fennel could not get to sleep. It was a problem, because not only did he have a test in the morning, he had a basketball game that he had to be rested up for. But for some reason, his brain just wouldn't stop running.

So at almost 1 AM, Wallace was awake to hear the rumble of motorcycles passing his house, too slowly for his comfort, but fast enough that he wasn't really worried. The motorcycles paused for a minute that seemed to drag on into eternity, but soon enough they started moving again and Wallace breathed a sigh of relief.

And then came the screeching of brakes, and the shattering of glass, and a too-quiet silence that spoke of imminent violence. Despite himself, Wallace walked to the window and saw just what he expected: Neptune's motorcycle gang approaching a family vehicle.

There was no way this was going to end well. He sat down to watch.

----------

"Oh, jeez, I'm really sorry."

Xander stepped out of the rented car shaking his head.

"Man, that was completely my fault. I didn't stop in time. I'm really sorry."

Xander looked up and noticed that the young men in leather jackets seemed to be approaching him in a menacing fashion. They were not happy, and many of them seemed to be armed with bludgeoning weapons. Tire irons and the like.

"So, yeah. Completely my fault. Um, I'll pay for all the damages."

"You disrespected my bike, hombre," one of the larger ones spat while smacking a tire iron in his hand.

It figured, of course, that he'd hit a guy who thought a machine was deserving of respect, and was willing to beat the crap out of a person over it. Xander thought that was just his kind of luck. He held up his hands in a calming gesture.

"Now, let's not do something really stupid right now, okay? I'll pay to have your bike fixed. Upgraded, even. Okay?"

"That sounds good," said one of the others. "I think you should take that, man."

"No way. He has to pay more than money," said the offended party.

If there was one thing Xander disliked more than stupid people it was… well, there were a lot of things, like demons and vampires and girls who were all soft and pretty and smelled nice but were confusing.

But another thing he disliked more than stupid people was stubborn stupid people.

"Man," said the smaller thug, "if Weevil was here –"

"Yeah, well Weevil ain't here. He's with that bitch. And I say we smoke this gringo."

The passenger door opened, and about half of the assembled gang whistled.

"You kids are pretty stupid, you know that?"

Xander sighed. "Not helping, Faith."

"Yeah, Faith," said the large guy. "You ain't helping your boy here. I tell you what, though, you wanna wait just a minute, I'll get right to you."

Faith winked at Xander, and he knew there would be violence.

"I'll tell you what," Faith said. "How about instead of him paying you for the damages, you pay me for putting your stupid ass in front of the car I was sleeping in. How does that sound?"

He turned to Xander. "Hey, you took your muzzle off your bitch."

Xander sighed and his shoulders sagged. "You see? I was going to try to get her to calm down. But not only are you stupid and stubborn, you don't know when to shut up, you value possessions over people, and frankly, you look a bit like an ogre."

Xander wouldn't normally be the first to attack somebody, especially in a situation where the odds were something like 9 on 2. But it was late, he was grumpy, the man had just insulted his (maybe might sort of be thinking about possibly being something, not sure what, but something, more than a) friend, and frankly, the guy just bugged him.

So Xander swung out and connected with the guy's jaw with a solid right cross, and the scene descended into chaos.

----------

Willow awoke suddenly to the sound of a body being slammed on the hood of the car.

"Whuz going on?" she asked.

"Faith and Xander are in a street fight with a motorcycle gang," Buffy explained. She was watching with interest.

"Oh," Willow said. "Wake me when we get to the hotel?"

"Will do."

"Night."

"Good night."

----------

Xander grabbed the collar of the leather jacket nearest to him, pulled it down to waist level and swung it as hard as he could towards the rental car. The head that was attached to the jacket smacked into the door with a loud bang, denting the car and rendering the wearer of the jacket unconscious.

"Glad I got the insurance," Xander muttered. His knee was kicked in from behind, and he flew forward, catching himself on the door and inadvertently landing another knee on the back of the unconscious car-denter.

The window rolled down.

"You doing okay out there?"

"Think we're all right, Buff, thanks." Xander smiled as he felt two hands grasp his shoulders.

"Maybe a little help."

Xander released the door and fell purposely to the ground, bringing his attacker with him. Said attacker released Xander and steadied himself on the door, much as Xander had.

"Hi," Buffy said to him. Xander heard a thud, and felt dead (or rather, sleeping) weight fall on him. He rolled over and stood up again.

"Thanks," he said. "Back in a minute."

Xander waded back in to the ever-smaller fray, pulling a thug away from the circle of four surrounding Faith. This man received an elbow to the back of the head and was quickly sent flying into the group of motorcycles still standing in front of the car.

He turned back to the fight, only to find it ended.

"Wait, those guys were all about to attack you a second ago," he protested.

Faith shrugged. "I kicked 'em."

"Oh. Okay." He turned to Buffy. "Final count?"

"Faith five, Xander four."

"Really?" they both asked.

"Well, Xander, you got the head start when Faith slipped on the oil, and then since you're bigger, they came after you. Of course, she caught up."

"Wow," Xander said, amazed with himself. "One under a Slayer. Not bad. Not bad at all."

Faith cocked an eyebrow at him, and Xander grinned lewdly at her.

"You probably shouldn't leave these guys just lying in the street," Buffy pointed out.

Faith grinned at Xander. "Let's drag 'em to the median and make it look like they did the nasty."

Xander's eyes shone with humor and glee. "I like the way you think."

----------

End Chapter 1


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Cousinly Coffee Capers  
Rating: PG-13  
Author: Bastard Snow

WARNING: SPOILERS FOR SEASON ONE OF VERONICA MARS! SPOILERS FOR SEASON ONE OF VERONICA MARS!

Disclaimer: I don't own any of it.

A/N: Yeah. This one had been rolling around in my head for a while, but I finally found a scene that said "You must write me now." So I bumped this one up the list.

A/N 2: Also, as always, thanks to Drake for the beta.

Feedback: Yes, please!

* * *

"It's a crying shame." Eli Navarro shook his head. He was extremely disappointed in his gang. "Although they tell me they put up a good fight."

"Are they okay?" asked Veronica Mars. She was walking through the halls of Neptune High with Eli – better known as Weevil – having heard that most of his gang was in some state of disrepair or another.

"For the most part. A couple of broken bones, cuts, bruises. Actually, for the number of guys they said jumped 'em, they didn't come out bad."

"How many is that?" Veronica asked.

"About a dozen," Weevil told her. "Still. It's disappointing."

"Hey, guys."

Wallace Fennel walked up to the pair.

"Hey, Wallace." Veronica greeted her best friend with a cheery smile.

"You hear anything last night?" Weevil asked him.

"Huh?" Wallace asked.

"Last night. A fight. Should have been pretty loud. You live near where my guys were jumped."

"Oh, I heard it," Wallace said. "But they weren't jumped. They were the jumpers. For the most part."

"What?"

"I couldn't sleep," Wallace told them. "And I happened to be near the window when I hear a screech and a little crash. Sounded just like a car hitting a motorcycle."

"You saw the fight?" Veronica asked

"In Technicolor."

"What happened?" Weevil asked.

"Like I said. Car. Bike. Bang. Guy gets out of his car, starts apologizing. One of your boys doesn't take it well, and then this chick gets out of the car, and a couple seconds later, all hell broke loose."

"So, what, the rest of the party pulled up and they rumbled?"

Wallace smiled at Veronica. "Oh, it was so sweet to watch. I mean, kind of brutal, in a way. Like out of a video game."

Weevil grabbed Wallace by the shirt and shoved him up against a locker. "What happened next?" he demanded.

Wallace looked down at his shirt, then looked at Veronica.

"Weevil, put him down. Wallace, tell him the story."

Weevil released Wallace, straightened his collar, and stared at him expectantly.

"Anyway. So the big guy – and he was pretty big, maybe six feet tall – launches a haymaker at one of your guys, and they all kind of jump at him. The girl rushes in and starts tearing them apart. Two minutes and some wicked moves right out of Def Jam Vendetta and the fight's over, and all your boys are unconscious."

"Two people?" Veronica asked, incredulously.

"Two people. And the girl wasn't that big. And the dude had an eye-patch. Half-blind and took out half your crew." Wallace shook his head. "Damn shame."

"Whatever," Weevil said, writing off Wallace's story as hyperbole. "That ain't at all what they said."

"Yeah?" Wallace asked. "Who you gonna believe? The guys who don't wanna lose face in front of their gang leader, or the guy who got pictures of them gettin' destroyed?"

"You got pictures?" Veronica asked.

Wallace pulled a memory card from his pocket. "You should see the positions they got left in. It's embarrassing."

"What did these guys look like?" Weevil demanded. He didn't even try to grab the memory card. The guy was a friend of Veronica's, so the pictures wouldn't go public unless there was an actual reason for it. Weevil just had to make sure there was never a reason for it.

"Well, the girl was hot. And I mean, like, smokin'. Long dark hair. Curves that moved when she fought… She was maybe 5'5"? I didn't get that close a look."

"And the guy?"

"Taller, like I said. Plaid shirt. Jeans. Eye patch, also had dark hair." Wallace's eyes shot wide and he pointed behind Weevil and Veronica. "Like that guy."

They turned to look. The man was large, although not overly so. He looked strong, though not like a body builder. He also looked lost.

Before Weevil could stop her, Veronica approached the guy, and Wallace followed. Weevil hung back, but stayed within hearing range.

"Can I help you?" Veronica asked.

"You the greeting committee?" the man asked.

"Something like that."

"Okay, well, I'm looking for a student named uh…" the guy consulted a piece of paper. "Eli Navarro? Also goes by Weevil, I think."

"Why do you want to see Weevil?" Wallace asked.

"I owe him something."

Weevil was very far from stupid. This guy had, apparently, taken out half of his gang last night, and now was here at the high school. Searching for Weevil. By both of his names. And the guy was saying he owed Weevil something. It sounded ominous, and he could tell by the way she shifted her stance, Veronica thought so too.

"Uh, it's not bad or anything," he said. He'd apparently noticed Veronica move as well. Not that that was a big surprise. She was kinda cute, for a short, blonde, white girl.

"What do you owe him?" Veronica asked.

"Money."

"Money?" Wallace asked. "How much? I'll take it."

"I'm not certain, but I figure a thousand should cover it."

Weevil stepped up to them. "I'm Weevil."

The guy looked at him. "Did you know you're named after a beetle? You're the leader of a motorcycle gang. You're supposed to frighten people. Are beetles scary?"

Weevil gave the guy his patented 'I'm not really amused but I'll tolerate you anyway' look. "You said something about money?"

"Yeah. My name's Xander. I had a little run in with your friends last night."

"I know."

"Right. So you know I hit one of their motorcycles?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. Well, here." Xander thrust his hand out and handed Weevil a wad of cash. "I figure that should cover the repairs."

"What about injuries?" Weevil asked. "Some of my boys got hospital bills."

Xander shrugged. "They brought it on themselves. The accident was my fault. See you around."

Weevil stared at Xander's back as the man walked out of the high school. He looked down at his hand and stuffed the bills into his jacket.

He shrugged. "Fair enough."

----------

Xander jogged over to the rental car, where Willow and Faith others were waiting for him. Buffy, Sam and Riley had gone to get some donuts.

"You paid him for the damages to the bike?" Willow asked from the back seat.

"Yup." Xander slid into the driver's seat and started the engine.

"Told him you were paying because it was your fault?"

"Uh huh."

"Basically showing him that you're above all the petty crap that's going on, and you can rise above the fight, but still hold his gang responsible for their actions?" Willow continued.

"Right."

Faith looked over at Xander. "You can be a real dick sometimes, Harris."

Xander grinned at her and chuckled. "Yeah."

Faith looked like she was going to say something more, but glanced at Willow and seemed to think better of it. Faith and Xander had been awkward around each other since the day after they had met Willow's twin, Michelle, and it was frankly starting to grate on her nerves.

"Hey, Faith, can I be really rude for a minute?"

Faith raised one eyebrow at her questioningly.

"Can you give us a minute alone?" Willow flicked some hair out of her eyes. "I need to talk to Xander. And it's kind of…"

"Friend stuff, got it."

"Not just friend stuff. Friend stuff you're perfectly welcome at, a-and even invited to. This is more… Xander-Willow stuff."

"I'm cool." Faith jogged off toward the school.

"What's up?" Xander asked.

"Stole my line."

"Huh?"

"Xander… what's up with you and Faith?"

"Nothing," he said a little too quickly. "At all."

She fixed him with a glare.

Xander sighed. "Well, you know how the hotel screwed up and gave us a queen-size bed in each room instead of two doubles?"

Willow nodded.

"Well, we got um… a little close, while we were asleep."

"How close?"

"Er. Close. There might have been, you know… groping… and um…" Xander cleared his throat.

"Poking?" Willow asked, grinning evilly.

"I hate you."

"No you don't."

"Well… fine. But I'm reasonably certain that you're not being very nice to me."

"So what are you gonna do about it?"

"About what? Faith?"

"No, sweetie, about global warming. Yes, about Faith."

Xander sighed, thrusting his hands into his jeans pockets. "I find that these things tend to resolve themselves, often with threats to my life, or the death of the girl after I have horribly embarrassed her in some way."

Willow stared and Xander scuffed his shoe on the pavement. "Okay, yeah, I guess that might be a little unfair to me. But I'm not sure… I mean, I guess I like her. And I think she likes me. I dunno."

Willow crossed her arms.

"I know, I know, I'm twenty-two," he conceded. "I should be able to do these things without acting like I'm in high school, or middle school or something. Adult relationships and all that. I should just be able to go up and say 'So Faith, you wanna get dinner sometime?'"

"Sure."

Xander froze where he stood. Willow grinned. Xander unfroze and continued looking at Willow. He pointed at her. "I'm trying to find a way to tell you that I hate you without insulting Faith, but it's just not coming to me. So… think of something to relay that to yourself, and we're good."

He turned around. "Hi."

"Hey," Faith said.

"So, um."

"We'll talk about it later. Riley's cousin's waiting for us."

"Right." Xander nodded. "Car. Riley. Good call. Shall we?"

Faith nodded at him. Willow, snickering, slipped into the back seat as Faith and Xander got in the front. There was a moment of awkwardness as their hands touched when they put on their seat belts. Xander and Faith grinned at each other sheepishly, and Willow mentally sent Buffy a message. 'Job done.'

Xander rummaged through his CDs, then pulled one out, lifting his arms in the air victoriously. He put the CD in the player and grinned.

"What are you playing?" Willow asked.

"Hmm? Oh. Sounds of the Rainforest, Volume 3."

Faith turned to him. "Wait. Isn't that the one with all the –"

The speakers began playing the croaking and chirping of the frogs of the rainforest. Willow shuddered as a chill ran down her spine.

Xander grinned. "Yes. Yes it is."

----------

End Chapter 2


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Cousinly Coffee Capers  
Rating: PG-13  
Author: Bastard Snow

WARNING: SPOILERS FOR SEASON ONE OF VERONICA MARS! SPOILERS FOR SEASON ONE OF VERONICA MARS!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

A/N: Yeah. This one had been rolling around in my head for a while, but I finally found a scene that said "You must write me now." So I bumped thisone up the list.

A/N 2: Also, as always, thanks to Drake for the beta.

Feedback: Yes, please!

* * *

"Guess this is it," Riley said. He wiped his hands on his pants.

"Nervous?" Buffy asked.

He nodded. "It's not every day you tell your aunt and uncle that their dau… oh hell."

"What?" Sam asked.

Riley shook his head. "I forgot to tell you guys. My cousin, Cindy… she's not really my cousin."

"What?" Buffy asked.

"Well, she was switched at birth with this other girl," he explained. "So, she's really kind of different than the rest of the family. Like, entirely. Maybe we should wait for the others, so they're not taken off guard."

"Ri, honey," Sam said, "You can't put this off forever."

"Yeah," Buffy added. "Plus, I just told Willow and she's telling the others."

Riley looked up, surprised. "You what? You… how?"

Buffy tapped her temple. "Willow's very own psychic cell phone."

"And you can just call her?" Sam asked.

"No, she's the only one who can initiate. But she was telling me how she tricked Xander into asking Faith out to dinner. We were discussing how this might affect the group dynamic."

"I thought you were a little quiet on the ride over here," Riley said. "Okay, well, I guess we better do this then."

"Oh wait," Buffy said. "I need names before we go in."

"Are you sure we shouldn't wait for Willow?"

"Why? They'll be here in ten minutes."

"Yeah but… Mac is Willow's kinda people."

"As in she's a witch?"

"As in she's really smart and reads a lot of books."

"I'm smart."

"And the last time you read a book was…"

"Recently!" Buffy protested.

"Buffy," Sam said, "Vogue doesn't count."

Buffy opened her mouth to protest.

"Neither does Cosmo," added Riley

"Can we just go inside already?"

Riley sighed and knocked on the door.

The door opened and a dark haired young woman, maybe seventeen years old, answered the door a few moments later.

"Hey Riley, Sam," she said, cheerily. "Oh, who's your friend?"

"Mac, this is Buffy," Riley said. "She's an old friend from the college days."

"Okay," Mac said. She seemed a little confused, but ushered the three of them into the house. "I thought you said we were gonna do cool stuff that my parents wouldn't approve of."

"Um… we are. That's… kind of why she's here. Is Aunt Natalie around?"

Mac shook her head. "She and Dad had to go to L.A. all of a sudden. Some distant cousin on Dad's side died and left him a toaster or something."

"That's so _weird_."

Riley turned to Buffy. "What is?"

She looked up at him. "You have family. I never connected the fact that you existed with the idea that you had, you know, living relatives."

Mac pointed at Buffy. "Is she… high, or something?"

"No, she's just Buffy," he explained.

"I'm not sure whether I should be thanking you or offended."

"So," Mac said. "What's… going on?"

Riley coughed. "Well, Mac – "

"Hold on." Buffy looked confused. "Your name is Cindy, right?"

"Yeah."

"So, Riley, why are you calling her Mac?"

"Her last name is Mackenzie. And… I don't know. She's just kind of always been Mac."

"Okay," Buffy said. "Weird. The guys are here."

"What?" Mac asked.

There was a knock at the door.

Mac and Sam went to get the door. Riley turned to Buffy. "Did you turn psycho between here and Colorado?"

"Listen, I dealt with two Willows, being thrown in jail, Xander and Faith being all weird and sexual tensiony, and nightmares about Graham jerking off a bunch of college guys. I'm doing my best, okay?"

Riley looked stunned. "Graham doing what?"

The rest of the group walked in.

Mac looked around. "Okay, now I'm really confused. Are you having a kegger or something? Isn't it a little early in the day for that?"

"Um, no actually. I mean, no, we're not having a kegger, yes it would be early in the day for that. Everybody came here to meet you."

"What? What is this, like, an intervention or something? I'm not even addicted to anything."

"Well, they say denial is one of the first signs," Xander said, wincing as Willow elbowed him in the stomach. He snickered. "Sorry."

Riley glared at Xander, then turned back to his cousin. "Listen, Mac, we're not here about a—you don't have any drug problems, right?"

She rolled her eyes at him.

"Right. Okay. You did something yesterday. Do you remember?"

"I did a lot of things yesterday."

"Something out of the ordinary."

"Jeez, Riley," Buffy said. "Stop being cryptic. Giles isn't even here."

"Mac, yesterday, you –"

"Did you know you look just like Trina Echolls?" Mac asked, turning to Willow. Willow's eyes shot wide.

Riley sighed, picked up a glass of water and chucked it at his cousin as hard as he could. She caught it with her right hand, without even looking.

"What the hell!" Mac yelled. "Are you crazy? Why are you throwing things?"

"How did you catch that?" Riley asked, quietly.

"What? You hurl a glass at my head and you want to know how I caught it? Are you insane? I just caught it!"

He continued looking at her.

"Right?"

Mac looked around the room. Everybody was conspicuously looking away from her.

"Right?"

"Mac," Buffy said, stepping forward. "We've got a story you need to hear."

----------

Logan Echolls pulled up outside the address Veronica had given him. He was vaguely aware that this 'Mac' person existed, but couldn't recall ever having seen him. He shrugged and stepped out of his yellow Nissan XTerra. He was walking towards the house when suddenly, a brunette girl about his age ran from the house, crying and yelling at a much taller blonde man who followed closely behind her.

The blonde man was quickly followed by another group of people; a ridiculously hot brunette, a ridiculously hot blonde, a dude with an eye-patch, another very attractive brunette and –

"Trina?" Logan asked, surprised.

"Son of a bitch!" she yelled.

"Mac, calm down," said the tall blonde one.

Logan turned away from his sister and back to the matter at hand. "Are you Mac?"

The young woman looked up at him. "Logan?"

"You're Mac, right?"

"Yeah."

The tall blonde one stood straighter. "Look, do you mind? This is kind of a family matter."

"Yeah, I can tell, what with my sister being here," Logan said.

"Logan, can you take me to Veronica's?"

"What?" he asked, confused.

"Mac, come on," said the tall one.

She turned and looked at Logan, pleading in her eyes.

"Sure."

He helped the girl into his car.

"Hey," the tall blonde guy called. Logan turned to look at him. "You touch one hair on her head and I will kill you in more painful ways than you can imagine."

Despite the chill that ran down his spine, Logan smirked. "What if I touch a hair somewhere else?"

The blonde guy lunged at him, but two of the others held him back. Logan waggled his eyebrows then slipped into his car and took off.

A couple minutes into the drive, he turned to the girl in his passenger seat.

"So," he said. "I'm Logan Echolls. Although, you obviously know that… especially with my sister being at your house. Why was she at your house?"

Mac wiped the tears from under her eyes. "That wasn't your sister."

"Well, not to contradict you, but I've known my sister a while longer than you have. That was her."

"Not to contradict you, but your sister isn't a lesbian witch, so I think I know what I'm talking about."

Logan frowned. "Well, she's not a lesbian, anyway."

Mac stayed silent for a minute. "What were you doing at my house, anyway?"

"Veronica gave me your address, I wanted to ask a favor."

"A favor?"

"Yeah a computer thing. I hear you're the one to talk to."

Mac smiled a little. "I guess."

"So, listen, I hope you don't mind me prying, but what was that all about back there?"

She looked out his window. "Family stuff."

----------

"That didn't go quite like I planned," Riley said, plopping down on the couch. "Sam, could you call and see if there's a GPS read on a –"

"Whoa, whoa, you don't wanna do that," Xander said.

"Why not?" asked Sam.

"She took off," Buffy said. "She's, what seventeen?"

"Yeah," said Riley.

"She doesn't want to be found," said Faith. "We just dropped a bomb on her. Give her some room."

"Who's Trina Echolls?" Willow asked.

"What?" asked Sam.

"She said I look like Trina Echolls. Who's that?"

"Aaron Echolls's daughter," said Xander.

They all looked at him.

"What?" he asked. "I watch the news. Famous actor gets arrested for killing a seventeen-year-old girl, it makes some headlines. CNN, man. That stuff's on all the time."

"Do I look like her?" Willow asked.

Xander shrugged. "Never saw a picture."

Willow pouted.

"Guys, can we focus?" Sam asked.

"Sorry," said Willow and Xander.

"So, what can we do?" Riley asked.

"Wait," Buffy said. "It's all we can do. If she's not back in an hour, we'll go look."

Sam stroked Riley's arm gently as he settled into the couch.

"I hate waiting."

----------

Logan pulled his XTerra to a stop in front of the building where Mars Investigations resided.

"Well, I had fun. We should really do this again some time."

"Thank you."

"Huh?"

"For driving me over here. Thank you."

"Oh. Uh, sure. Come on, we'd better go see the little woman."

Mac raised an eyebrow at him.

They climbed the stairs to Mars Investigations.

"Hey guys," Veronica greeted as they walked in the door. Logan walked over and gave her a quick kiss on the lips.

Mac raised an eyebrow. "So then, the hair touching is out?"

"The what?" Veronica asked.

Logan glared at Mac. "Ignore her, she's just making crazy talk."

Veronica regarded her boyfriend coolly. "So, what brings you two here today?"

"Just had to get out of the house for a while," Mac told her.

"Everything okay?"

Mac shook her head, but didn't elaborate. There were some things that were probably too weird even for Veronica. And there was no way Logan was getting in on this. Mac really just needed to clear her head.

"I'm gonna go for a quick walk," she said, standing suddenly.

"I'll go with you," Veronica said, grabbing her jacket from the hook.

"We'll make a party of it," Logan suggested.

"No, you can stay here," said Veronica. "This is just a girl walk."

Mac smiled at her, and they walked out of the office.

"Okay!" Logan called after them. "I'll just stay here… in your office."

Mac heard a door open.

"With… your dad… ah, hell."

"So, what's up?" Veronica asked once they were on the street. "You weren't in school today."

"Family in town," Mac explained.

"Ah. Did you guys do anything fun?"

Mac shook her head.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

"Not at the moment."

"Did you hear that Weevil's gang got beat up?"

Mac perked up. She had nothing in particular against Weevil, but his gang wasn't made of the friendliest people in the world.

"Really? By who?"

Veronica grinned. "Well, they told him that it was an out-of-town biker gang that outnumbered them."

"It wasn't?"

Veronica shook her head. "Two people. Some dark haired girl who Wallace said was 'so hot' and a taller guy with an eye patch. He actually showed up at school today, to give Weevil some money to repair one of the motorcycles."

Mac groaned and planted her face into her hands.

"What?" Veronica asked.

Mac held her hand up above her head. "Guy about this tall? Wearing flannel? Patch over the left eye?"

"Yeah…" Veronica said, confused.

"He's a friend of my cousin.. Name is Xander. The girl is probably Faith, since I don't think Sam is much into beating up biker gangs."

"You know these people?"

"I just met them today."

"What is your cousin doing hanging out with people like that?"

Mac shrugged. "Apparently, I'm people like that."

"What?"

"Veronica, do you believe in weird stuff?"

"How weird?"

"Vampires and demons."

"No."

Mac sighed. "Then there's not much more I can say."

A Ford Explorer pulled up to the two girls, and Xander rolled down the rear window, looking every bit the skeezy twenty-something hitting on some high school girls. "Afternoon, ladies. Either of you interested in a ride?"

Mac heard a smack from the car.

"Ow!" Xander yelled. "Would you stop hitting me? You're always so violent. Jeez." He turned back to them. "Anyway. We tried to convince Riley to wait at least an hour before scouring the town for you, and I could have held him down, but he is after all a grown man."

"You could have held him down?" Mac asked. Her cousin was a large-ish, very in shape man.

"Well, I could have had Buffy do it. Listen, if you need some more time to decompress, or whatever, we can come back, or meet you somewhere else. Riley just wanted to make sure you're okay."

"I'm okay," she said, nodding.

"Hey, hold on, wait," called Buffy's voice from inside the Explorer.

A door opened on the other side, and she came running around. She pulled Mac to one side. Mac was so surprised that she barely resisted.

"Is this girl your friend?" Buffy asked, glancing at Veronica. She had approached the SUV and was talking to Xander.

"Yeah," Mac said. "Why are you and Xander talking to me, and not Riley?"

"It was part of the agreement. We've handled similar situations, we kind of have an idea of how to, you know, react to people? Where as Riley's been in the military for years, and is so wound up that you're his cousin he can't think straight. So, we all came to look for you and he doesn't get to talk."

"Oh….kay."

"So, Veronica. Do you trust her?"

"I guess, yeah."

"Well, listen. I've done the slayer thing for a while now, and this is an important lesson to learn. Trust your friends. Rely on them. Sometimes, things get bad. And they won't always understand what you're going through… but sometimes you don't need someone to understand. Sometimes you just need someone to listen, or to take your mind off of things."

Buffy sighed. "Being a Slayer… it's not like this cherry gig where you get to go around beating people up for fun and making them do what you want. It's not like a free ticket. It's hard, and it's nasty, and you don't get recognition for the good work you do, and sometimes it seems too much. Friends can make it better."

"I… I thought you said there were lots of us now."

"There are. Hundreds. But that doesn't mean it'll never be lonely."

"How do you do it? I've been, like, strong for a while now, but I haven't known about any of this for more than a couple hours, and already it's like this huge weight."

"Well, we're trying to help with that. The school in Cleveland –"

"Cleveland? Have you guys ever considered that pitch? 'Come, leave sunny, temperate, southern California to go to Cleveland. We've got Drew Carey, a crappy football team and winters colder than a witch's teat!'"

Buffy smiled. "It's better than it sounds. And I happen to know – from word of mouth, not experience – that a witch's teat is actually pretty much the same as everyone else's."

Mac looked up at her. "You know, she really does look exactly like Trina Echolls."

Buffy rolled her eyes. "We're getting a lot of that these days."

The sound of giggling drew Mac and Buffy's attention back to the Explorer. Buffy smiled, contentedly.

"The old charmer," she said.

Mac looked at Buffy curiously. "You ever date him?"

Buffy turned to Mac, surprised. "Me? No. Xander's like a big fluffy bunny of an older brother."

"Fluffy bunny with an eye patch."

"Yeah, well, the fluffy bunny part comes when you get to know him, and only if you don't try to kill his friends. Listen, there's no pressure about coming to the school. We've got some materials for you and your family to look over, and a little bit of fun jewelry to keep you off the mystical radar for the most part. Plus, the nearest Hellmouth to you is in… are you closer to Cleveland or Calgary?"

"Uh… Calgary. I think."

"Well, those are the closest. I mean, there's not even one in the entirety of Mexico. So it should be pretty quiet around here, as long as you don't venture too close to L.A."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Major cities usually have a pretty big demonic presence. But we've got friends around, I'm sure Riley will give you some contact info. Angel in L.A. Oz in New York… other people… anyway, they're around. Plus, we've got slayers all over the country, and we're contacting more all the time."

"But I'm still a freak."

"Well, sure," Buffy said. "But where's the fun in being normal?"

Suddenly, Buffy stood up straight. She turned to the SUV and locked eyes with Xander, and nodded.

"Gotta run. Emergency."

Buffy turned to go, but Mac caught her by the arm. "Wait. I want to come."

"I don't know," Buffy said. "You're not trained at all. It's going to be dangerous."

"Buffy, come on!" Xander yelled from the SUV.

"I'll stay back, out of the way. I just… I want to see what I've been gotten into."

Buffy sighed, nodded, and led Mac to the car. They got in and buckled their seat belts.

"Now?" Riley asked, gunning the engine. "She runs away when we're talking, but the instant there's danger, it's all 'hooray for Slayer?'"

"Shut up and drive, Riley," Mac said, harshly.

Xander did his best to hide his snort of laughter. It didn't work very well.

----------

End Chapter 3


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Cousinly Coffee Capers  
Rating: PG-13  
Author: Bastard Snow

WARNING: SPOILERS FOR SEASON ONE OF VERONICA MARS! SPOILERS FOR SEASON ONE OF VERONICA MARS!

Disclaimer: I don't own any of it

A/N: Yeah. This one had been rolling around in my head for a while, but I finally found a scene that said "You must write me now." So I bumped this one up the list.

A/N 2: Also, as always, thanks to Drake for the beta.

Feedback: Yes, please!

* * *

The walls of the motel room vibrated with the volume of their laughter, and Mac couldn't remember the last time her cousin had seemed so… human.

"And so me and Will and Ahn are walking along, sharing a bag of chips and just chatting, and Riley's up there all sneaky, dipping between headstones like they're trees in the jungle. And he pulls up behind one and kind of gestures." Xander made a fist and thrust his arm up and down.

"Yeah," Willow said. "And none of us had any idea what he was doing."

Xander nodded. "I mean, first of all, we never hid between the headstones unless there was something to hide from."

"Plus, I'm not sure he realized we weren't trained militarily."

"Still aren't," added Buffy.

Mac grinned.

"So he does the arm-thrusty-thing," Xander continued, "And Will says, she asks, 'What's that mean?'"

"And we didn't have any clue, none of us," said Willow.

"Right. So I just kind of shrug and yell out 'Hey Riley! What's with this?'" he said, making the motion again. Mac started cackling again.

Grinning, Willow continued. "So Riley turns around, looking all serious and a little angry, and he says, he says," Willow paused, then spoke in her best imitation of Riley's voice, "'It means yell real loud so any vampires out there can hear us.'"

Willow continued laughing pretty long after everyone else had stopped, and Xander glanced over at the table she sat next to.

"Hey, Will, how many have you had?"

Willow looked at the table next to her and started counting.

"Four," she said.

Mac glanced at the table. There were three bottles there.

Riley laughed. "Ever the light weight, Willow."

This was an entire side of her cousin she'd never seen. Not the seriousness they were describing, Mac was entirely used to that. But the part Mac wasn't used to was Riley taking a ribbing as he was due, and not even getting a little angry or stuffy.

He was relaxed. So relaxed, in fact, that he had allowed her – after extracting a blood oath that she would never tell her parents – to share a beer with them. Mac looked around the room at the people sitting, drinking, laughing, enjoying themselves, and she was awed.

Not more than two hours before, they had been battling the forces of darkness. A dozen demons in a cave system on the coast, and they strode in and kicked ass like it was their job. Which, in fact, it was. She didn't know how well they had done. They had won, of course, and with only a few relatively minor injuries.

Though Mac decided that the day she began calling two broken bones and a concussion 'minor' injuries was the day she… well, she wasn't quite sure what, but it wasn't gonna be any time soon.

Granted, though, Xander didn't seem to be suffering much, and the attention he was getting from the girls, particularly Willow and Faith, did seem to be making up for much of the pain.

A knock on the door brought Mac out of her thoughts. Faith opened the door to reveal Logan and Veronica.

Logan made a big show of looking Faith up and down. "Wow."

Veronica gave him an elbow in the rib. "Can we help you?" Faith asked.

"Uh, I hope so," Logan said. "Is the girl who looks like my sister here?"

Buffy began to respond when Willow called out, "I'm here!" She levered herself out of the chair and stumbled over to the door. "Hi," she said, cheerily.

"Hey," Logan said, laughing. He looked at Veronica and pointed at Willow. "Told ya."

Veronica rolled her eyes.

"Can we talk? Uh, in private."

"Sure!" Willow agreed, stepping out into the night air.

"Uh," Xander said, leaning forward, a finger raised in the air.

"On it," Faith said. She followed Willow outside and shut the door behind them. Mac wondered what was going on, but Buffy started telling another story, and she turned back to the conversation.

----------

"So, I don't know if you know this. I'm Logan Echolls, and my sister, Trina, is a heinous bitch of the highest order. And you look exactly like her."

"I'm not a bitch!" Willow protested.

Logan cocked an eyebrow in confusion.

"She's a little drunk," Faith explained, leaning against the wall of the motel.

Logan grinned. "Perfect. Listen, I was hoping you could help me out."

"What with?" Willow asked.

"Well, I was kind of hoping for some blackmail material to use against Trina. And since you look like her, and you seem to be friends with a um… friend of ours…"

"Mine," said Veronica.

"Right. A friend of Veronica's, I thought you might be willing to help me out."

"I can't believe you're doing this," Veronica said, shaking her head. Her arms were crossed over her chest.

"I can pay," said Logan.

"How much?" Willow asked.

"How much do you want?"

Willow concentrated hard for a moment, her face scrunched up in a little ball, then raised a finger as if the answer had appeared to her out of the ether. "Five thousand dollars!"

"Done," Logan said, pulling his checkbook out of his back pocket.

"What!" exclaimed Veronica and Faith.

"Hey, this is Trina we're talking about. The most manipulative, evil, spiteful human ever to walk the face of the Earth, next to my dad. Five thousand dollars is nothing to pay to have immunity from her."

Logan wrote the check to 'Cash' and handed it to Willow, who promptly stuffed it in her bra.

"So, what can you do for me?" he asked.

"Do you have a camera?" Willow asked.

Faith noticed that she seemed to have sobered up a little. It was good, too, because she didn't want Willow getting taken advantage of. Although she had just gotten five grand out of the kid.

Logan pulled out his cell phone. "Right here."

"Okay," Willow said. "You ready?"

Logan shook his head. "Yeah, but what can you do here?"

Willow grinned. She reached out, grabbed Faith's hand and pulled the Slayer towards her. Faith was too surprised to react. And suddenly, Willow's lips were pressed hard up against her own, and the witch's tongue was exploring her mouth. She heard Logan's phone clicking in the background a couple of times before she overcame the surprise enough to pull away.

Willow wiped her mouth off with the back of her hand, and turned to Logan. "That good enough?"

"Perfect!" he yelled.

Faith opened her mouth and inhaled, ready to give Willow a really good yelling-at, when the redhead turned to her and spoke.

"You get half."

Faith clamped her mouth closed, nodded once, and went back inside, leaving Willow to her own devices.

----------

"Okay," Sam said. "We should take you home, Mac."

"Aww, really?" Mac asked.

Xander smiled. She really did seem to be enjoying herself.

Riley smiled at his cousin. "'Fraid so, kiddo. Your mom'll kill me if I keep you out of school for another day. I'll stick around for a little while, though. Give you some basic training after school. That sound okay?"

"Really?" Mac asked. "Just you?"

"I'd love to stay," Sam said, "but I have some newbies to break in back at Fort Bragg. Some exercises Uncle Sam doesn't want the ol' gimp here involved in anymore."

"Thanks for the support, honey." Riley turned back to Mack. "The training won't be easy, though.. I'm gonna work you hard."

Xander laughed.

"What?"

He shook his head. "Nothing. I just… what are you going to do, make her run a marathon in record time, and then have her kick your ass in hand-to-hand?"

"I can do that?" Mac asked, wide-eyed.

Faith smiled at her. "Might need a half-hour rest between the marathon and kicking his ass, but yeah."

"I was thinking more along the lines of setting up a training schedule, some weapon work, identifying the more frequently seen types of demons," Riley said, glaring at Xander.

"Oh. Well, I suppose that could work."

"Okay," Riley said. "Well, we should go."

"I'll come with," Buffy said, cheerily.

"That's really not necessary," said Sam. "It's out of –"

"I'm coming," Buffy said, slipping on her sandals and shooing people out the door. "And so is Willow."

"It was nice meeting you!" Mac called as Buffy rushed her outside.

The door closed, leaving Xander and Faith sitting on one bed together, alone. Xander sat for a moment, considering the situation. Faith seemed to be doing the same.

"It seems to me," Xander said after a moment, "the two of us, you and I… have been set up by those who we would call friends."

Faith nodded, silently.

"Not that I'm complaining, mind you. Not at all. Just a quick observation."

"So this whole thing," Faith started.

"By which one can only assume you mean the whatever-it-is between you and me."

Faith nodded. "It's kind of doomed to failure, isn't it?"

Xander laughed. "It is incredibly doomed. Doomed beyond belief. Doomeder than… um… than Buffy's attempts at pretending she's a real blonde."

Faith looked troubled. "That's pretty doomed."

Xander nodded sagely. "So, what kind of food do you like?"

"What?"

"Food. Stuff you eat? I believe there was a promise of some sort of dinner date. I mean, obviously tonight might not be the best time for said date," Xander raised his broken arm, "but it never hurts to be ready."

Faith stared at him for a moment.

"What? Do I have something in my teeth?"

Faith looked incredulous. "Didn't you just say anything between us was doomed?"

"Yeah."

"And you still wanna go out to dinner?"

Xander shrugged. "I mean, if you'd rather just go get coffee… or I suppose we could just make some coffee here tonight, I'm pretty sure I'm up to that. Actually, that's a good idea anyway."

Xander swung his legs off the bed, walked over to the coffee maker and started his preparations.

"Are you crazy?"

"It's a popular theory," Xander responded.

"If ain't nothing but pain gonna come out of any of this, why would you want to pursue it?"

Xander finished pouring water into the machine, closed the lid and pressed the appropriate button. He turned around and leaned back on the bathroom counter.

"I never said that nothing but pain would come of this. I said it was doomed."

"What's the difference?"

Xander smiled. "That the time intervening could be great. The time between now and damnation could be fun, and happy, and so full of… of whatever, that any pain we felt at the end might be worth it."

"But if it was…" Faith asked quietly, "wouldn't that make it worse at the end?"

"Maybe. But I think you're worth the risk. And I'm not so afraid of losing something that I won't try to have it." He smiled. "Anya taught me that."

Faith looked confused. "I thought Dawn and Andy pretty much said you taught her how to be, like, human."

Xander shrugged. "I taught Ahn how to get along in society. How not to freak people out, how things worked. But what most people don't remember is that, when she died, Anya was 1125 years old. She had a lot more life experience than all of us combined." Xander laughed a little and shook his head. "And she wasn't afraid to tell me when I had my head up my ass… like now, when I'm standing here, talking to a beautiful girl who I would like to start dating about my dead ex-fiancée."

Faith waved his worry away dismissively. "You really loved her, didn't you?"

Xander nodded. Behind him, the coffee pot dinged, and he turned around.

"Hey," Faith called.

Xander turned around, and she waved him over to the bed. He sat next to her.

"So you really think this'll be worth it when it blows up?"

Xander shrugged. "It might blow up tomorrow, or it might be years before we're at each others throats. " Faith winced. "Sorry. Bad choice of words. But what I mean is… you never know. Maybe we'll get lucky and instead of lots of pain, we'll just die."

"You've got a seriously messed up outlook on life, Harris."

"So I've been told."

Faith pulled her legs up under her. "Turn towards me," she said. Xander complied, wondering what she was doing. She ran her hand over his hair, and the strap that kept his eye patch on. Gently, she slipped her hand under the strap and started pulling it away.

"Hey, wait… what are you doing?" Xander asked, pressing his hand against his eye patch.

"I want you to trust me," she said, looking straight into his good eye.

"Hold on a second," Xander said. He closed his eye and concentrated.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Making sure Willow isn't eavesdropping," Xander said, picturing a huge frog with razor sharp teeth and a taste for redheads. When there was no reaction, he opened his eye again. "Sorry. Thought this should be private."

Xander licked his lips, swallowed, and nodded. Faith continued, slowly removing the patch from his eye. She got up off the bed and put the patch on the sink. When she returned, she straddled Xander's lap. She ran her thumb around the edge of his eye cavity.

"I want you to know that I'm serious about this," she said, looking him straight in the eye. "The whole deal, not just the happy-Xander. Not just the Xander who makes jokes out of everything. All of it."

Xander's hand reached up to caress her, but she pushed him down on the bed, leaned down and kissed him again. "No funny business. Not yet. I don't want it to be just about the physical."

"I'm entirely unfunny," Xander said, shifting slightly beneath her, "despite what messages you may be getting from other parts of me."

Faith's mouth quirked into a slight smile.

"I need you to know how important this is to me," Faith said.

Xander nodded once.

"With the exception of Angel, every man I ever trusted either ran away or cheated on me, done me wrong, or was just in it for the sex. I know you ain't like that. But you gotta understand where I'm comin' from. You got your thing with Willow and Buffy, and even Dawn to an extent, and that's cool. I ain't trying to intrude or get between you."

Xander opened his mouth to speak, but Faith pressed a single finger softly against his lips. He nodded silently.

"So I don't really know where to go from here. I only done the 'dating' thing twice in my life. Once with Wood… I think you know how that turned out."

Xander opened his mouth again, and again Faith pressed her finger to his lips. More determined this time, Xander spoke anyway. "Wooss a duhass."

Faith grinned, leaned down and kissed him again. "No argument from me. Anyway the other guy… let's just say the relationship changed when one day, all of a sudden, I could catch his fist and break his hand and throw him across the room and through a wall."

Xander smiled sadly at her.

"So here's where we're at. It ain't gonna be easy. I got issues and so do you. I can be a heinous bitch and you're sometimes so stubborn you can't see straight." Faith smiled at him. "But I'm willing to work at it, if you are."

Xander pointed to his mouth with a questioning looking in his eyes. She nodded.

"Two things I'd like to say here. The first is that yes, I'm willing to work. I get that it's gonna be hard, but I think there may really be something here. I think it'll worth it and more."

Faith smiled. "What's the second thing?"

"Any time," he said. "Any time at all that you want to push me down on a bed and straddle me, just say th—"

Faith silenced him with another kiss. "Come on," she said. "Let's pour that coffee, go for a walk and maybe get into another street fight."

Faith rolled off of him and got up. As Xander headed for the coffee pot, the room phone rang.

"Got it," Faith said. Xander watched appreciatively as she crawled across the bed, then turned back to the coffee.

"Helga's House of Pain, what's your pleasure?" Faith answered. Xander snickered. "Oh, hey, G. What's up?"

Xander continued to pour as he listened in.

"I thought the Maryland thing was kind of a priority. Oh really. That serious? Okay, hold on, let me get a pen."

Xander finished pouring, retrieved his eye patch and slipped it back over the cavity where his eye used to sit. He watched as Faith took down whatever Giles was telling her.

"Okay," Faith said. "No, I got it. No, it's just me and Xander. None of your business. No. No. Yes. No. I think it's 'romantically.'"

Xander laughed, imagining the questions Giles was asking.

After another minute of questioning, Faith shot Xander a pleading look. He smiled, walked over and took the phone.

"Giles," he said.

"Xander. Are you –"

"It's cool Giles. We're all adults here. Thanks for being worried." He glanced down at the notes Faith had written. "We'll call you when we hit New Jersey."

Xander hung the phone up and looked at his – he smiled at the thought – his girlfriend. "Sometimes you just gotta tell him what's up." He handed Faith a cup of coffee. "Shall we?"

Faith smiled, accepted the cup, hooked her arm through Xander's and led him out the door.

----------

The End


End file.
